Entries tagged "“gay marriage”"

Video of my #ContactCon performance (4 min) : When my too big to fail institutions failed me. Loss and the Net.

Doug Rushkoff honoured me by asking me to be one of the 10 people giving an opening provocation at the very inspiring conference he and Venessa Miemis convened the other day called #ContactCon. It’s was a conference focussed on what people could actively do to concretely fulfill the promise of the Net.

Our role as opening provokers was to give people some inspiration about what the Net needs. I knew I would focus on emotional and a connection on people since that’s what my performance work centres on. I only had four minutes to make an impression and move the room.

I also knew that the other speakers, like Scott Heiferman, (founder of meetup) and Eli Pariser, (founder of MoveOn) whom are all wonderful and whose work I admire weren’t performers. And while people spoke about the importance of making the Net human I wanted to make the room feel human as I made my own points. I wanted to shift or sculpt the social space in the room. Later that day, Doug called it “repasting the room” when he thanked me for my performance

Usually, if I had more time, I’d then use the openness and emotional connection in the room after what I did to shine focus on people in the room and to draw their stories out. I explore some of how I do this in shows, and how these “mechanics” of  conversation or tummeling work  in this other talk I gave at Google and teach people how to do it in UnPresenting.

And some people asked me afterwards as I discussed social and emotional engagement if its necessary to be heavy and sad to pull a focus like that. No I don’t believe so. I think you have to be genuine. You have to work with what’s truthful for you right then. Believe me, it’s a lot more fun for me when it’s hilarious. In time, this story will also be hilarious. At least some of the time.

I’ve written all this to give some context as to why I did what I did in this provocation. It was a chosen performance. Usually this opening up of the room happens in a performance or “talk” of mine. Because there was no time for it I got responses all day long, many in the bathroom from other women (a sure sign you’ve hit a nerve). I choose to open myself up and be vulnerable and honest in these moments but it can be tiring. It’s been a difficult and profound year for me personally, a year of biblical kinds of loss. I’ve moved from place to place with one suitcase for over a year. I’m ready for home and settledness.

This video doesn’t give context. I’m not sure it conveys how it felt in the room before, during or after I spoke. I did shift the feeling in the room which was my goal. I’m proud of that. I’m proud that I can be publicly honest about something difficult. I do know that institutions, even the ones we helped to build, fail. And I do know that outsourcing a sense of self to them also fails us.

Occupy Wall Street points to the institutional failure and shift that has only just begun. I am learning every day how to self-create and collectively create what is needed to feel home in a life of change. This is a huge opportunity for those who make online and off. The goal is not to have something static forever. I’ve learned the hardest way that we really don’t have control.  That kind of making is an illusion. We want to be ourselves and feel safe and feel together. I know I do.



What No on 8 should have looked like

17 year old James testifies to Vermont Senate on LGBT Equality.

He nails the second class citizenship issue. Nails it. Please excuse my choice of words.

But forget al the abstract crap about civil unions etc. Here is the point: Are we equal or are we inferior?

This is how we need to campaign in California and across the country. And we need to have lots of

meals with other people and talk about it honestly.

Dear Mike Huckabee, you're redefining the word "Christian"

My response to Huckabee’s appearance on The Daily Show, below. I want a conversation and a world and certainly a legal system without pretendery. Come on Huckabee let’s have a real conversation. I’ll meet you anywhere.

new Prop8 insult: back of the hair salon


Originally uploaded by subvert.com

Prop 8 just passed. I have an angry moment. I am trying to follow the useful influenced insight of a passing busboy who suggested never comparing our hurt or struggle to that of another civil rights movement.

The Great Hack

The Great Hack from The Great Hack on Vimeo.

I ask geeks to use their powers for good and defeat prop 8 (copy protection for marriage) on Nov 4th.

Join us at thegreathack.com

The people fighting to copy protect marriage spent over $20 Million. We spent $15.80

Jews are about to be governed by Mormons

Number of Mormons in California: 761, 763  (2006 #s)

Number of Jews in California : 999,000 (2001 #s)

The Mormon Church is about to change the California Constitution on November 4th to make my Jewish wedding unConstitutional because I married a woman.

The Mormon Church is going to make its religious doctrine our secular law because people who aren’t gay aren’t that involved right now. But you will be affected. The main argument for Prop 8 is that civil legal inclusion of marriages like mine oppose fundamentalist Christianity.

If you are not Mormon, you’re about to live in a country in which that religion’s current doctrine is about to become a good reason to amend a State’s Constitution, unless you do something about it.

Jews are used to feeling like a minority but there are *more of us* than there are Mormons in California. And, like many Mormons have shown, you don’t have to live in California to donate or spread the word.

Nov. 5th you will probably have President Obama and a Democratic Congress and -while you weren’t thinking it wasn’t your issue- a changed Constitution in CA that excludes a minority from legal protection because our lives don’t sit well with their fundamentalist Christian doctrine.

It was conflict over the afterlife when the Mormon Church was found to be baptizing Holocaust victims.Prop 8 is a spiritual presumption over our civic laws that govern us now.And I’ve always been taught that how well we lives our lives now is what Judaism is about. That, and a lean corned beef on rye with a half sour pickle.

We can still *easily* defeat prop 8. The Mormon Church has organized for a long time for this fight. Their donation and online numbers reflect their maxed out participation. We are neck and neck.

You will be affected. Will you be involved?

Vote no on 8. DonateJoin on faceBook to be counted. Spread the word. Forward this on.

heather + stacey (my wife who’s busy studying for med school exams)

We need Harvey Milk right now

I just watched the trailer for Gus Van Sant’s Harvey Milk film for the first time and was surprised to find myself crying.

Crying because I never got to see Harvey Milk in person, though I’ve seen him on film, and somehow I felt some of his magic.
Crying because of the power and beauty of a moment when he and other gay people stopped cowering and owned their lives in public.
Crying because he’s not here now and in a little less than two months California will vote on whether or not the State Constitution should be changed so that I and “my kind” cannot be married and I am not sure enough straight people will know and care enough save my marriage.
Crying because a “tough and masculine” and certainly straight actor Sean Penn is playing Harvey with such dignity and so beautifully and that I am living to see and American straight man publicly not cower from an act that could “threaten” the defensive-ness we call masculinity.
Crying because I’m just so damn grateful that Robin WIlliams did not, as was once promised, play Harvey.

On November 4th, have the guts to live in hope. Vote no on Proposition 8.

The Mormon church is spending its money and time trying to pass Prop 8. and hard-knuckling its members for cash as a test of faith rather than on helping its members with defaulting mortgages, gas prices, bankruptcies and many other pressing, real problems for LDS members)

Posted by email from heathergold’s posterous

what equality feels like



Moments from the celebrations on the day when the Supreme Court of California handed down it’s decision that all Californians can marry, and that any discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is unconstitutional.

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