Entries tagged "posts"
On Wonder Woman
I am not into super heroes. I never identified with Wonder Woman. I wanted to be part of the first weekend grosses for Patty Jenkins.
I still sobbed in the middle of the movie tonight because for a moment I could see what it would have been like at 10 to see a woman be this strong and unafraid. And I could imagine, in a flash, what kind of impact that would have had on my life and the lives of my peers for the years we’ve had. And I could see what it’ll mean for the 10 year old girls now. And I wished it had come out a year ago because I seriously think it would have helped HRCs campaign because it will impact the culture in a broad way about strong women and strength and love and doing what’s right. I was also thrilled that Patty Jenkins got this gig and did such a fantastic job. This is not a genre of film I particularly like (though I even imagined tonight how much fun it would be to act in a film like this which I’d never considered before because I hadn’t seen my own athleticism and strength as skills for film). But I really enjoyed this movie. I would have been happy if the movie never left the island with the Amazons (no surprise there). Maybe It’s a genre I *could* love. One I could make.
Here’s to a future of unapologetic women taking power and directing whatever the hell we want.
She Sets the Gold Standard for Comedy in the Bay Area
This lovely piece on me just ran in the J Weekly.
And it ran without a request to tell me “just one thing!! that familiar bit of Jewish criticism a/k/a love from one bubbeleh comes after so many shows. California changes my people.
The next Yarn is coming up on the 7th in Oakland. Hope to see you there. You’ll find tickets here.
Understanding Trump and the US via trauma. Hope for a better way.
This is true.
It is also impossible for someone to feel their pain without a compassionate witness. Trauma is too much for many to feel. https://t.co/3NZZNFHLVZ
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
Most important thing the US could do is to put @RootsofEmpathy in every school and provide good counseling for all kids starting in nursery https://t.co/3NZZNFHLVZ
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
Centering the feminine and feeling is key to changing our political situation. We'll only feel our way out. #patriarchy https://t.co/Vsa76JVetg
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
Centering the feminine and feeling is key to changing our political situation. We'll only feel our way out. #patriarchy https://t.co/Vsa76JVetg
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
This is true.
It is also impossible for someone to feel their pain without a compassionate witness. Trauma is too much for many to feel. https://t.co/3NZZNFHLVZ
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
Some project outwardly.@umairh and before him Rianne Eisler and other feminists show how the economy we have is built on trauma/dominance https://t.co/UHg82N1OFN
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
1/Makes sense because it's so central to everything happening.
Think about who came to America. https://t.co/RBHYKJ4OPH
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
2/Those traumatized elsewhere who pass it on. *Or* the First Nations whose land this is who were traumatized. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
3/ *Or* who become aware of their pain and do best to better. Feeling pain and suffering is horrible. Not feeling is worse. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
4/ It's why I sign off each night now with (among other things) "Stay feeling." The antidote to narcissism and trauma. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
I started signing off of twitter and facebook in 2007 with “Night good people.” I believe I was the first to do a regular nightly sign off. I wanted to treat it as a time *with* others and to be as human and connecting as possible. I didn’t want to treat my presence in these places with other people like I was broadcasting to nameless “audience” who matter less than I do.
5/ What she did to her own son is horrific and tragic, but Alice Miller's writing about Germany and narcissism taught me a lot @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
6/ Trauma, can also build resilience. It's those who have felt *and handled* pain who will save America. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/heathr/status/834138840436662272
8/ Misogyny, white supremacy etc all linked by projected rage at feelingness (of course while denying rage is a feeling) @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
9/ There is trauma all over the world. (I mean Israel + Palestine are PTSD central). The US seems to have acceleration of all. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
10/ It's a form of dissociation. The US has attempted to negotiate difference through the marketplace. Folly.https://t.co/1JlQOaCNde
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
12/ Centres the feminine, ends patriarchy, listens to, centres and learns from marginalized folks @umair https://t.co/Bic5XBJhJZ
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
13/ Replace half of Congress with women. Centre Black folk. Who voted most against fascism? Black women. #218in2018https://t.co/Bic5XBJhJZ
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
14/ The answers are in becoming embodied and learning from those who are trusting feeling and embodiment. Who handle feeling. @umair
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
15/ Moments of trauma (US is there ) allow you to re-negotiate your original wounding trauma. If you have support and become aware. @umair
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
16/ I could continue to cover what is happening through a trauma lens if that interests. Trust your body everyone. It keeps the score.@umair
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
1/Makes sense because it's so central to everything happening.
Think about who came to America. https://t.co/RBHYKJ4OPH
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
18/…of handing ones own experience over to someone else, living *through* another, rather than practicing feeling ones own impulses
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
19/ We HAVE what we need.Women are already leading. Best for it to be like LGBT coming out movement:person to personhttps://t.co/dS8rgcvsLh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
20/ Feel your feelings. If you need support check https://t.co/O8SROx0uQU , books by Van der Kolk and Peter Levine if you need science
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
21/ Learn to know what you feel and feel it. Women have been doing this work for decades. Lesbians lead. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
22/ It makes sense that what is leading in another way of living looks *different* that what has been prized in celeb culture @umair
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
23/ Think about it. This essay is being written by a lesbian on writing "streets" of twitter. Way less celeb culture valued than NYT oped
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
24/ Does that make it / me less valuable? (I've added a link in bio if you want to back my work https://t.co/FG5wA0buRQ) @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
25/ Think of what are antidotes to narcissism. I've worked years on tummeling (https://t.co/brOvi9mmUG | https://t.co/frRucJi2QQ). Also…
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
26/ As I said to many @techsolidarity rooms when I was tummeling/speaking/leading there: it's what's inalienable that'll undo the regime
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
27/ People who presume all is manipulation cannot see the existence or power of what cannot be gamed, hacked, bought, forced. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
27/ A huge chunk of the economy/culture is driven by numbing and dissociation. Workaholism fits right in there. GTD! Man up. Crush it.@umair https://t.co/Gtq6vzaZtp
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
28/ Think about what is inalienable, what can't be bought: love, sacrifice, humility, genuine relationships and expression, trust @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
29/ More that can't be bought: self-respect, self-acceptance, kind acts, witnessing, Even things you can pay for you cannot *make* ppl do
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
30/ The US would ended up with recreating (more explicitly) abusive Daddy as leader to re-negotiate @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
31/ Fave joke of mine: difference between the Dems and the GOP? "Daddy beat me" and "Daddy beat me for my own good." @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
32/ *Staying in connection* with someone caring calms the nervous system. Feeling the *original* wound is the key to a shift. @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
33/ As long as the left is caught up with intellectually attempting to dissect the right's expression while both avoid feeling: stand still
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
34/ All of the systems of oppression we have rely on separation and isolation "you're on your own." @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
35/ We're social animals. We love feeling together. Having an "allowed" enemy enables a toxic togetherness w projected rage @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
36/ You can't make anyone feel anything either. It's something you have to choose to do. Addicts get sober do because they choose @umairh
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
37/ For more like this please back my writing https://t.co/FG5wA0buRQ . My newsletter is https://t.co/xb0pze1TZN .
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
38/ More TK on US trauma For now I'll leave you with a relevant short talk I gave in the early days of twitter. https://t.co/CNel3yLdKY
— Heather Gold (@heathr) February 21, 2017
Russia stands up for punching women. What follows America?
Russia has just decriminalized domestic violence.
Women are harmed at an alarming rate from domestic violence here in the US too. And the Senate just voted to make sure contraception is not covered. Misogyny has long been apart of our culture. This is a moment in which patriarchy has put all its chips on red.
It is time for us to refuse. This means men too have to really get in your guts, what it means to have self-agency and control over your body handed over whether its forced pregnancy, the very common experience of rape and sexual assault and the de facto cultural and legal reality that there’s not a whole lot you can do about it without more pain and even with the pain there are almost never collective social and legal consequences for rape for the rapist other than affirmation of so-called “masculinity,” the dismissal and marginalization of womens experience (or these would be stories and experiences you’d be hearing about all the damn time in media), any random guy walking toward down the airplane aisle feeling like its no big deal to put his hands on your waist to move you aside.
This means marching and calling and insisting. This means making consent a reality and the norm. This means talking to your sons and students about what consent is. This means social norms and pressures that support girls and womens’ agency.
Sadly it is things getting much worse and emboldened that make people more aware of what has always been there. A good chunk of the country had to knowingly vote (though I am not persuaded it was just votes that put Il Dupe in position we need an open investigation) for someone who brags about sexually assaulting women. Sexual assault was voted for. We will see more like this as in Russia if we do not say and embody “no.”
As with all things, if you don’t get the lesson, it gets harder.
And for those doubling down on misogyny in the new regime and the emboldened culture of dominanace sold, like crack or a bottle, like it’s gonna make everything ok, they will continue to find there will never be enough to make them feel ok. Their desperation will only increase.
There’s no way out of this without learning to feel, without growing up.
What If Tech Hadn’t Been Willing to Meet Il Dupe
I don’t see how Il Dupe controls the population inexpensively without the companies that decided to kiss his ring the other day.
Why presume Cheeto tuchus now somehow means he won’t hurt your company? Perhaps they should send their cross-platform invite to Chris Christie while they’re at it.
Why presume the value of the market and currency will somehow be supported by his regime taking over (though Russian interference and electors haven’t met why presume for sure he’ll take over? Why not support public inquiry into Russian hacking? Technical stuff too complicated for tech CEOs? They gave him an implied endorsement via this appearance timed when it was.
Dave Pell recently outlined the shareholder pain but not the moral quandry or benefit (or political benefit) of taking a stand.
Putin got a whole lot of bang for his hacking buck. If they collectively decided to not go, who do you think the market would choose?
My instinct at this point is that you disarm manipulation best with what is inalienable. It is what can’t be bought and sold.
None of these CEOs and COOs who took off all their fleece vests and travelled to a sudden demand meeting with Thiel’s latest angel investment has been willing yet to make the public stand others who work in the industry and sometimes for them have. You can too
The Unfacted: Lessons Learned Coming Out.
I wrote a little something on twitter about lessons learned coming out and living in a “make up your own facts” world.
The Donald Trump v Hillary Clinton election has given us a moment in which the threads of what the country appear to all agree upon are unravelling.
Donald Trump’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float level of narcissism seems to have given us a new level of ignoring or making up facts in politics and government.
Is it?
So many on the left are convinced of the need to only persuade with argument and the apparent hopelessness of this for our collective future safety when we cannot agree on basic things.
It’s not new that people in the US won’t accept facts. Here’s one example and some things I learned from it.
Why Didn’t People Vote?
November 14, 2016
Why did people not vote?
Comey FBI “surprise” delighted on from the Bannon / Trump campaign. Last minute suprise plot twist! Stay tuned!
But you can’t pull the pieces apart.
Patriarchy, sometimes “she’s not one of the good ones, like me. Sometimes ”uppity cunt.“”
White supremacy.
Media, global economic change, failure of straight up talk from elected officials, GOP stonewalling for a generation, liberals failing to vote in midterms, hammered narrative about Hillary not Ms Rodham Clintons wickedness evil ambitious Lady MacBeth cackling. Email email. So much media time about email.
Very little coverage in media and TV of Trump’s fascist working and rallies. I’ve never been anywhere that men don’t get to say and do what they want to women. Isn’t that what life just is? Economic depression, felony convictions, systemic imprisonment of people of colour, lies to white folks from the GOP, the Roseanne show ending.
SCOTUS gutting the Voting Rights Act, States doing the same. Voter ID requirements. Fear of the government for deportation. Fear. Not knowing you can get a lift to the polls. Not having many polls. A long line at the polls. Not getting time off work. Believing fake news you saw on Facebook or TV. Trump and Bannons and Ailes and Stone getting in the vote. It’s rigged. I’m not sure I’ll accept it.
Bernie Sanders and so many others telling you “they’re both the same.” Not learning in school how the basics of democracy work. Not understanind that Trump is fascist and corrupt. The word tremendous. Not knowing where to go to vote. Having a doctors appointment. Not wanting to miss your show on TV. Did I mention she sent emails?
I don’t get exactly what I want. Being afraid people will have guns at the polls. Failing to know that people died for your freedom to vote. Not having someone growing up who always voted. Not having someone who believes in you and says you matter. Helplessness, not believing your vote will matter.
Where’s Daddy?
Bitterness for Sanders. Bernie or Bust. Humans have nothing to do with it, what happens is up to Jehovah and so she will never vote, said two young Black women to me. “I’m not going to vote,” said Trent pushing me in a wheelchair through the Las Vegas airport. “We’re going to have a war no matter who I’d rather save lives than take them.” He is going to play D+D still. He still is going to recycle his soda can.
So many reasons. So many versions of helplessness, so many versions of “Daddy beat me for my own good.”
It came down to not so many of them in a few neighborhoods in the midwest.
There is a third party in the US. This is it.
My Systemic Podcast Interview
I was interviewed, just before the election, by Brett Terpstra on Systematic Podcast. I was really happy to get to talk with Brett who has built, among other things, the brilliant nvalt a note taking text editor for the Mac. It’s a double episode and we talked–among other things– about comedy, the Net’s influence on me, and Iggy Pop. You can hear it in your podcast apps or here on this page where you can also see the notes and my recommendations of great stuff.