Never drank much

never drank much
never tried a drug
but life keeps throwing in my way
those who can’t get enough

i’ve had it
soap operas
dyke dramas
personal torment
yom kippur, lent
they’ve been year round for me
need to learn to breathe
without anger or despair
or my own electric chair

these nodes I move between
forgetting what i’ve seen
that’s good and came before
i feel like such a whore
sell my mind to pay the rent
my soul not worth a cent

what a loss my mind
minotaur won’t find
not looking
can’t see outside
knowledge without imagination
pain gave it a permanent vision

and so alone i sit
hand is clenched
teeth are grit
and rhyming for the hell of it