Business Bondage
I was one of the 1.5 million watching the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade this weekend. As I watched the S/M contingent, I couldn’t help but think of my friend–let’s call him Mark–who just took his first hard core sales job. After an enthusiastic courtship and productive two weeks, his boss has decided that he needs to wear something around his neck.
Mark knows that once you put on a tie, you’re a “suit.” Your entire self gets identified by the clothes. It’s an ironic combination suit and tie. The suit is there to make you powerful, but then the tie cuts it with vulnerability. Think about it: anyone could just grab it and strangle you at any moment. In case you thought you were free, there’s this reminder about who you belong to around your neck all the time.
Mark prides himself on his sharp appearance, and has made a point of investing in a nice wardrobe to maintain it. If he’s going to do something, he’s going to do it well. He’s raised so much money in his career, he can even tell you what the different VCs wear. They all have different styles but none of them include ties. All of his fundraising and development work was done without one.
If you were wearing full tech regalia: teva sandals, shorts and a penguin t-shirt, would a tie build your trust? As for me and the wardrobe issue, I’ve pretty much planned my entire career around avoiding wearing hose, so I understand the aversion to something that feels restrictive.
Under the new tie edict, Mark faces the problem of the three-way business relationship: him, customer and boss. How do you serve all three?
Mark’s job is to deal with the outside world, listen understand what they want, and then bring that news back home to their company. You’d think that pleasing the customer would be the first order of his job. But then what do you do when the boss (a/k/a “manager”) wants something else? Who’s your daddy?
Unlike the Parade contingent, Daddy–I mean the boss–didn’t make clear to Mark that he was in for this kind of relationship when they first met. Interviewing and all the early dates went smoothly and expectations were set. It’s the oldest recruiting tactic in the book. Get someone who’s task-oriented excited about the task, and knee deep in work flow, and then assert domination.
The boss isn’t boosting sales, making the business run better or trying to keep his customers happy. How shall we say it? He’s just……..er, getting off.
It makes me think about the guys in the Parade with their leather paraphenalia. Maybe it’s time for Mark’s boss to come clean and come out of his own closet. I’m sure he’ll be surprised to find he has lots of company in the world of business bondage.
If Mark’s boss were to get honest about why he wants Mark to wear the tie, I have an idea that might keep them happy and the relationship humming. Mark can simply wear it under his suit, and it can be their little secret together.
